Ешь, молись, люби. Но сначала всё-таки ешь.
Этот фик хотели перевести на английский при помощи Google-Translate. В принципе, мне понравилось, как он перевёл (до чего техника дошла!), так что я лишь поправила некоторые моменты... множество моментов. Но всё равно лучше, чем с нуля.
The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns. PG, 1 750 words, humour, pre-slash.
***
"So, the butterfly wants someone to clip its wings".
Grogan dismissed with disgust, "You allow yourself too much for a leprechaun with a broken arm, Devine."
Sean snorted. He tried to stay confident, although the situation was clearly not in their favor. He injured his hand while jumping from the tree so in a fight he couldn't give a considerable aid. Barney... Barney was a smart lad, but a way too young. And Mickey had been remaining at home for almost a week, punished for their last prank.
But Grogan's crew was at full strength.
"We could extirpate you…" began the count.
"Hah!" Barney interrupted. "We'll see that!
"But it would be dishonest. Too..."
"Fairly," Sean suggested.
"Leprechaunly," the count kept at it. "And so I offer one-on-one battle. I would say a duel, but that's a privilege of a noble man," Grogan depicted contempt with all his look.
There was silence.
"Uh, and whom do you choose?"Jericho said. Something told him an answer.
The count rolled his eyes, but said nothing about his stupidity.
"Me! He chooses me! I will show him!" Barney turned up his sleeves and reached for his staff.
"I do not fight with children," Grogan hissed.
"On all days except Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning," Sean added.
"Indeed, he is so full of conceit, as if he hadn't broken his arm, but grown a new one," Jericho thought grimly. He had no desire for a fight.
Grogan gave him an expectant look. O'Grady feigned that he didn't understand him.
Well, in theory, it was the matter of his people's honor, so he had to be eager for a fight. And if he had to be, than he was… yeah.
Grogan growled through clenched teeth. "A growing fairy!" was all that Jericho had time to think before Grogan grabbed his arm and pulled him in a center of the clearing.
"Be a man, O'Grady!" the count said darkly.
Jericho reached for his staff. It was too much to hear reproaches for a lack of manliness from count Grogan. One of Grogan's attendants approvingly chuckled. Fairies anticipated a bright perfomance.
And not only them. Seannie's provocative cry stabbed in O'Grady's back:
"Show him, Jericho!"
So Jericho began to show. He led the staff in position and gestured invitingly. An evil smile blurred on Grogan 's face. The count expanded his staff and rushed to the foe.
Jericho retreated. Grogan took a step to the left, bypassing him, and struck him in his shoulder. A leprechaun dodged at the last moment. The count snorted and attacked again, and again Jericho receded. Grogan continued to get him around from the side, forcing O'Grady to turn back to other fairies. In that case the count turned back to the leprechauns, but apparently it did not scare him. "Evidently there is nothing to scare this loony," Jericho thought gloomily, "How nice is life without a self-preservation instinct..."
Jericho did not want to turn his back to the foes; sometimes these nobles throw things, which even notorious scoundrel wouldn't contrive. But fairies stepped aside, clearing the way, so Jericho took another step back. He had absolutely no desire to fight this crazy.
He studied Grogan all too well during years of their squabbles. Count's brains left him in any fight, so he could do anything. Another one would be stopped by morality, pity... even fear! But Grogan has nothing from this list. And they both understood that if Grogan would maim him, the count would fence off the consequences. Of course, guys could take their revenge, but that would make things even worse. Because once they seriously hurt this majeure, anything can happen. Anything, right up to the war!
Jericho parried and over again receded. And he froze: Grogan's smile became even more frightening than usual. There was a catch somewhere.
Leprechaun stroked a blow aside, and dodged from another one, taking a step to the right. The count immediately hit from this side, forcing him to return to the same place. Definitely, there was a cath.
Jericho recoiled and quickly glanced over his shoulder. Grogan tried to drive him against a stone (a huge one, about three leprechaun arms' span). Moreover, he almost succeeded in this. Jericho had to go sideways... but on the one hand was the beam, and on the other fairies lined, grinning.
Only then Jericho realized that he looked aside for too long. He frantically turned around, but it was late. With a triumphant smile and a wild look Grogan knocked his weapon.
Staff flew to the ground; Jericho gasped and ran after it, but the count kicked him in the chest. From that blow O'Grady flew backward and somersaulted on the ground.
"Stuff him, Jericho!" reached his ears Barney's voice.
"Do what?" Seannie chuckled.
Jericho stood up and shook his head. Do they see the same thing? Totally crazy maniac, urging to kill somebody? Then why does Sean laugh?
Grogan approached deliberately slowly, jauntily playing with a staff. But his eyes were so dark, that if Jericho was a count, and Grogan was a leprechaun, he would resignedly gave that Leprechaun watch and wallet. And would buy a brick. And...
Barney grabbed his staff, but one of the fairie crew claimed:
"If you'll interfere, so shall we."
Jericho looked into his brother eyes, and shook his head. Then he quickly turned to Grogan. A fairy continued to press him to the stone, and, worst of all, smile.
Staff lay far behind the count. Jericho had to distract him... there must be something to distract him... but what can distract that psycho?!
O'Grady saw Grogan eyes and realized that the count is ready to strike. He must act quickly. Jericho rushed forward, trying dive under fairy's hand; but the count guessed his idea. Grogan raised his staff, and the leprechaun realized that if he'll try to slip, then he'll get a blow to the spine. And there were only two steps between them. Jericho threw himself on the ground, fell, scrapping his knees. Grogan froze, trying to figure out what is leprechaun up to; but it was too far to crank out something, so he only shook his head and raised his staff once again.
"Marry me!" Jericho shouted frantically.
There was silence.
O'Grady wondered when he had got up on one knee and put out his hand.
Grogan stand motionless with a raised staff.
Leprechauns and fairies were silent, but somehow this silence made Jericho felt very uncomfortable.
Grogan slowly, almost confusedly lowered his weapon. A thirst for battle on his face gave way to confusion, as if you caught the bully in your garden, but found out that it's your brother.
Jericho swallowed and tried to make his face not so frightened.
In the eyes of Grogan was written, "And how am I supposed to beat him now?"
"Come on!" someone shouted, and Jericho would be happy to cut this someone's throat.
Grogan raised his weapon, but still very insecure. Jericho tumbled under fairy's arm, grabbed the laying staff, leaped on his feet and turned around.
On Grogan's face emerged a realization that he was divorced. There still wasn't hatred in his eyes, but Jericho was sure that after a couple of moments, even a Great Banshee won't stop him.
"Well, if you don't want…" he said quietly, removed staff and threw up his hands in a gesture of reconciling.
Grogan looked at him thoughtfully. Jericho took a couple of steps back; then more and more, barely bridle an itch to escape.
"Uh... good luck!" he screamed and jerked to his friends.
Seannie laughed, and Barney looked blank. Jericho grabbed their shoulders and pulled them away.
"You've got a problem," Sean said through laughter.
There still was no sound from behind.
"Not at all," Jericho cut off. "Grogan is not a fool, he realized that it was a joke.
O'Grady shook his head and confessed, "Although I feel... strange."
Barney looked over his shoulder and explained, "That's because he is staring at your ass."
Jericho whether moaned, or sobbed, and rushed forward even faster.
***
"Well, brother, now that you have a problem..."
"I have no problems!" Jericho snapped. "It's just a little misunderstanding!
Barney chuckled.
"Uh-uh, it's not good to deceive friends, Jericho," Sean intervened, "Admit it, you had that in mind for a long time. You chose a moment, when Mickey wasn't here... you was afraid, that he would impede your happiness?"
Jericho looked at him, showing with only gaze that life with two broken arms should be very uncomfortable. But aloud, as usual, he said nothing.
It was already morning. Today was the end of Mickey's house arrest, so all for them waited for their friend, thirsting to share the amazing news and to take a council.
...And Mickey came.
"Hey!" he announced from afar. "Hey, Jericho, I heard you have a problem."
"I do not have any pr... Wait, how did you know?"
Mikey shrugged, coming closer. "From pookas."
"And how did they?
"From oakshees. And they..."
Jericho hid his face in his hands. Mother Nature!
There was a long exchange of jokes: about choosing a veil, which certainly should be blue; that hero would get a half of the kingdom only if he defeat a dragon and which of the bride's family should be considered a dragon; and finally, who should be considered as bride, and who as fiance.
Blue is a synonym for a gay in Russian.
"Listen, you two idiots! The only problem I see is that now I have to listen to these stupid jokes till the end of my life. And Grogan understand that I wasn't serious, and he won't be even angry, 'coz he'll appreciate this joke."
Skeptical expression was even on the face of Barney.
"Enough," said Jericho. "Let's go home.
Brother (for once in a while) obeyed and dutifully trudged behind him. Sean and Mikey went after them, pretend to escort, but in fact" to compete their mocking.
Jericho fought the urge to cover his ears with his hands and just pulled a cap lower. But it couldn't fit on ears, so he hasten his steps.
"He is in a hurry to choose a ring," said Mickey confidently.
"Nope, he is going to provide a dowry."
Jericho sighed with relief when he saw his house; there should be silence. He waved to his friends and pulled the door.
"Okay... guys… I have a problem."
The whole room was filled with bouquets of roses.
The Magical Legend of the Leprechauns. PG, 1 750 words, humour, pre-slash.
***
"So, the butterfly wants someone to clip its wings".
Grogan dismissed with disgust, "You allow yourself too much for a leprechaun with a broken arm, Devine."
Sean snorted. He tried to stay confident, although the situation was clearly not in their favor. He injured his hand while jumping from the tree so in a fight he couldn't give a considerable aid. Barney... Barney was a smart lad, but a way too young. And Mickey had been remaining at home for almost a week, punished for their last prank.
But Grogan's crew was at full strength.
"We could extirpate you…" began the count.
"Hah!" Barney interrupted. "We'll see that!
"But it would be dishonest. Too..."
"Fairly," Sean suggested.
"Leprechaunly," the count kept at it. "And so I offer one-on-one battle. I would say a duel, but that's a privilege of a noble man," Grogan depicted contempt with all his look.
There was silence.
"Uh, and whom do you choose?"Jericho said. Something told him an answer.
The count rolled his eyes, but said nothing about his stupidity.
"Me! He chooses me! I will show him!" Barney turned up his sleeves and reached for his staff.
"I do not fight with children," Grogan hissed.
"On all days except Wednesday, Thursday and Friday morning," Sean added.
"Indeed, he is so full of conceit, as if he hadn't broken his arm, but grown a new one," Jericho thought grimly. He had no desire for a fight.
Grogan gave him an expectant look. O'Grady feigned that he didn't understand him.
Well, in theory, it was the matter of his people's honor, so he had to be eager for a fight. And if he had to be, than he was… yeah.
Grogan growled through clenched teeth. "A growing fairy!" was all that Jericho had time to think before Grogan grabbed his arm and pulled him in a center of the clearing.
"Be a man, O'Grady!" the count said darkly.
Jericho reached for his staff. It was too much to hear reproaches for a lack of manliness from count Grogan. One of Grogan's attendants approvingly chuckled. Fairies anticipated a bright perfomance.
And not only them. Seannie's provocative cry stabbed in O'Grady's back:
"Show him, Jericho!"
So Jericho began to show. He led the staff in position and gestured invitingly. An evil smile blurred on Grogan 's face. The count expanded his staff and rushed to the foe.
Jericho retreated. Grogan took a step to the left, bypassing him, and struck him in his shoulder. A leprechaun dodged at the last moment. The count snorted and attacked again, and again Jericho receded. Grogan continued to get him around from the side, forcing O'Grady to turn back to other fairies. In that case the count turned back to the leprechauns, but apparently it did not scare him. "Evidently there is nothing to scare this loony," Jericho thought gloomily, "How nice is life without a self-preservation instinct..."
Jericho did not want to turn his back to the foes; sometimes these nobles throw things, which even notorious scoundrel wouldn't contrive. But fairies stepped aside, clearing the way, so Jericho took another step back. He had absolutely no desire to fight this crazy.
He studied Grogan all too well during years of their squabbles. Count's brains left him in any fight, so he could do anything. Another one would be stopped by morality, pity... even fear! But Grogan has nothing from this list. And they both understood that if Grogan would maim him, the count would fence off the consequences. Of course, guys could take their revenge, but that would make things even worse. Because once they seriously hurt this majeure, anything can happen. Anything, right up to the war!
Jericho parried and over again receded. And he froze: Grogan's smile became even more frightening than usual. There was a catch somewhere.
Leprechaun stroked a blow aside, and dodged from another one, taking a step to the right. The count immediately hit from this side, forcing him to return to the same place. Definitely, there was a cath.
Jericho recoiled and quickly glanced over his shoulder. Grogan tried to drive him against a stone (a huge one, about three leprechaun arms' span). Moreover, he almost succeeded in this. Jericho had to go sideways... but on the one hand was the beam, and on the other fairies lined, grinning.
Only then Jericho realized that he looked aside for too long. He frantically turned around, but it was late. With a triumphant smile and a wild look Grogan knocked his weapon.
Staff flew to the ground; Jericho gasped and ran after it, but the count kicked him in the chest. From that blow O'Grady flew backward and somersaulted on the ground.
"Stuff him, Jericho!" reached his ears Barney's voice.
"Do what?" Seannie chuckled.
Jericho stood up and shook his head. Do they see the same thing? Totally crazy maniac, urging to kill somebody? Then why does Sean laugh?
Grogan approached deliberately slowly, jauntily playing with a staff. But his eyes were so dark, that if Jericho was a count, and Grogan was a leprechaun, he would resignedly gave that Leprechaun watch and wallet. And would buy a brick. And...
Barney grabbed his staff, but one of the fairie crew claimed:
"If you'll interfere, so shall we."
Jericho looked into his brother eyes, and shook his head. Then he quickly turned to Grogan. A fairy continued to press him to the stone, and, worst of all, smile.
Staff lay far behind the count. Jericho had to distract him... there must be something to distract him... but what can distract that psycho?!
O'Grady saw Grogan eyes and realized that the count is ready to strike. He must act quickly. Jericho rushed forward, trying dive under fairy's hand; but the count guessed his idea. Grogan raised his staff, and the leprechaun realized that if he'll try to slip, then he'll get a blow to the spine. And there were only two steps between them. Jericho threw himself on the ground, fell, scrapping his knees. Grogan froze, trying to figure out what is leprechaun up to; but it was too far to crank out something, so he only shook his head and raised his staff once again.
"Marry me!" Jericho shouted frantically.
There was silence.
O'Grady wondered when he had got up on one knee and put out his hand.
Grogan stand motionless with a raised staff.
Leprechauns and fairies were silent, but somehow this silence made Jericho felt very uncomfortable.
Grogan slowly, almost confusedly lowered his weapon. A thirst for battle on his face gave way to confusion, as if you caught the bully in your garden, but found out that it's your brother.
Jericho swallowed and tried to make his face not so frightened.
In the eyes of Grogan was written, "And how am I supposed to beat him now?"
"Come on!" someone shouted, and Jericho would be happy to cut this someone's throat.
Grogan raised his weapon, but still very insecure. Jericho tumbled under fairy's arm, grabbed the laying staff, leaped on his feet and turned around.
On Grogan's face emerged a realization that he was divorced. There still wasn't hatred in his eyes, but Jericho was sure that after a couple of moments, even a Great Banshee won't stop him.
"Well, if you don't want…" he said quietly, removed staff and threw up his hands in a gesture of reconciling.
Grogan looked at him thoughtfully. Jericho took a couple of steps back; then more and more, barely bridle an itch to escape.
"Uh... good luck!" he screamed and jerked to his friends.
Seannie laughed, and Barney looked blank. Jericho grabbed their shoulders and pulled them away.
"You've got a problem," Sean said through laughter.
There still was no sound from behind.
"Not at all," Jericho cut off. "Grogan is not a fool, he realized that it was a joke.
O'Grady shook his head and confessed, "Although I feel... strange."
Barney looked over his shoulder and explained, "That's because he is staring at your ass."
Jericho whether moaned, or sobbed, and rushed forward even faster.
***
"Well, brother, now that you have a problem..."
"I have no problems!" Jericho snapped. "It's just a little misunderstanding!
Barney chuckled.
"Uh-uh, it's not good to deceive friends, Jericho," Sean intervened, "Admit it, you had that in mind for a long time. You chose a moment, when Mickey wasn't here... you was afraid, that he would impede your happiness?"
Jericho looked at him, showing with only gaze that life with two broken arms should be very uncomfortable. But aloud, as usual, he said nothing.
It was already morning. Today was the end of Mickey's house arrest, so all for them waited for their friend, thirsting to share the amazing news and to take a council.
...And Mickey came.
"Hey!" he announced from afar. "Hey, Jericho, I heard you have a problem."
"I do not have any pr... Wait, how did you know?"
Mikey shrugged, coming closer. "From pookas."
"And how did they?
"From oakshees. And they..."
Jericho hid his face in his hands. Mother Nature!
There was a long exchange of jokes: about choosing a veil, which certainly should be blue; that hero would get a half of the kingdom only if he defeat a dragon and which of the bride's family should be considered a dragon; and finally, who should be considered as bride, and who as fiance.
Blue is a synonym for a gay in Russian.
"Listen, you two idiots! The only problem I see is that now I have to listen to these stupid jokes till the end of my life. And Grogan understand that I wasn't serious, and he won't be even angry, 'coz he'll appreciate this joke."
Skeptical expression was even on the face of Barney.
"Enough," said Jericho. "Let's go home.
Brother (for once in a while) obeyed and dutifully trudged behind him. Sean and Mikey went after them, pretend to escort, but in fact" to compete their mocking.
Jericho fought the urge to cover his ears with his hands and just pulled a cap lower. But it couldn't fit on ears, so he hasten his steps.
"He is in a hurry to choose a ring," said Mickey confidently.
"Nope, he is going to provide a dowry."
Jericho sighed with relief when he saw his house; there should be silence. He waved to his friends and pulled the door.
"Okay... guys… I have a problem."
The whole room was filled with bouquets of roses.
@темы: Кино: Феи